The Wedding Present

Sat 18 June – wedding at Michelham Priory, Lewes, East Sussex. It was obvious even at 6am that it was going to be hot and sunny day – forecasts were predicting in excess of 30degrees. A perfect day to wear a hot suit! Assuming everything went to plan I’d change at Watford and get on the Brighton Train, but I only had 10mins leeway and any delay would make it tight. As expected, everything didn’t go to plan, the train arrived 9mins late and I saw the Brighton train pull out of the station. Bugger! Time for plan B which meant Hastily getting back on the London train intending to go via the Underground and Victoria.

First time I’ve been on Underground since 2001 and it took me a little while to find my bearings. The wedding present was becoming a serious burden by this stage. Got to Victoria at 09.47. There was an Eastbourne train at 09.46 which I missed. Not for the first (or the last) time, I was starting to suspect there was a malevolent power trying to sabotage the day. Next train was at 10.16. A little while later and I was no further behind schedule than I would have been had I got the Brighton train. Things were looking up. The next part of the operation meant that I’d need to get a taxi from either a little station called Berwick or a bigger station (but further from the Wedding) called Polegate. First though I wanted to get my key from the guest house in eastbourne (and dump my scruffy rucksac- I knew this would be a very smart wedding!). The stations were observed in close detail looking for tell-tale signs of Taxi ranks etc as we went past. This must have looked odd behaviour (or highly suspicious terrorist activity) to the other holiday-makers in their shorts and T-shirts.

Unfortunately, there was no scale on my eastbourne map, but I guessed that it would be about 600m from the station. I bought another ticket going back to Polegate. Went outside into eastbourne to check into the guesthouse. It was 11.44. The wedding ceremony was at 1pm. Polegate (a 10min taxi ride from the wedding) was a 6min train ride away and there were trains at 12.00 and 12.09 from eastbourne. What could go wrong?

It turned out to be well over a kilometer to the B&B. I ran back on the station platform at 12.09 just to see the 12.09 leaving. The next train wasn’t until 12.28. I was hot, sweating profusely and stressed. If anything went wrong at Polegate, I’d be screwed. I was starting to think of my excuses – I’d just have to skulk in later and pretend to have seen everything. Got to Polegate at 12.38. There were no taxis in the taxi rank and a queue of at least 4 people. I would have to be very un-british and queue-jump when one came along. Then somebody mentioned that all the Taxis were in eastbourne because of the tennis. Arrrrghhhh.

Just then a man in a suit and a woman in dress and hat called me over – it transpired that they were also going to Sam and Tasha’s wedding. A friendly local informed us that we were better off going onto the main road. A taxi came along 2mins later and we jumped in, arriving in the grounds at 12.50. I had time to smarten myself up before casually strolling in at 12.57. Somebody had saved me a seat. Perfect. The wedding was very glamorous and people friendly, but I’m never at home on very formal occasions such as these.

Sunday

Had a walk round Eastbourne – it looked much smarter than when I was last here in June ’92. Spent the rest of the day in London. Although I berate my capital, I really think I could start to like it if I spent enough time here. Got badly burnt though – it’s never 32degrees in Manchester!